Body in Storage Unit for 17 Years

(USA Today)A woman's body found in a Clearwater, Fla., storage unit may have been stored there 17 years ago, WTSP in Tampa reports.When Ann Bunch died in 1995, the family had her body prepared for burial at a funeral home in Alabama but then ran out of money, according to News Channel 8 in Tampa.Bunch's daughter, Bobbie Barnett Hancock, decided to place the body in a special container in a unit at U-Stor Self Storage in Clearwater. As Hancock was dying of cancer last year, she told her daughter, Rebecca Ann Fancher, what she had done.After the manager of the storage facility warned that the contents of the storage unit would be auctioned off for non-payment of rent, Fancher admitted to him that the unit contained a body, News Channel 8 reports.

Well, I have a few questions about this story. First off, I’m pretty sure you can’t just give dead bodies out to the public. “Hey, sorry. Ran out of cash.” “No problem lady, pull your pick up around back I’ll help you load her in.” Like, what’s your next move? You can’t just drop Granny off on the curb and wait for your weekly pick up. And I’m almost certain it’s illegal to start a bon fire in the backyard and have a Granny roast. So I guess putting her in a storage unit is probably your best bet. My second question is, didn’t anyone every wonder where she was buried? “Mom, I’d like to pay my respects to Grand ma-ma, it is her birthday/mothers day/ anniversary of her death for 17 years. What cemetery is she in again?” “Oh, she’s in the self storage lot off I95 - unit 43.” When it gets to the part in the article about how the Granddaughter was “forced” to tell the manager there were human remains, because they were going to auction off the contents of the unit, I cant help but think about the 2nd best show on television: STORAGE WARS......YEPPPPPP. You could literally watch this fucking thing for hours on end. One time I flew on JetBlue from JFK to San francisco, and thank God there was a marathon on T.V. on the flight. It’s a big blur of little air plane bottle’s of jack, mixed together with Dave Hester and Barry Weiss, and that losers hot wife with the big titties. I’m just waiting for the day when one of them buys a unit just like this and has to deal with the aftermath of there actions. Maybe they could do a cross over with Criminal Minds to try to identify the remains and find the killer. I could see it now.

P.S.- I wonder if this is how they transported her...

or maybe Clark W. Griswold style

Artist plans to bury Boeing 727 jetliner in Calif. desert

BAKERSFIELD, California (AP) – A Swiss artist plans to bury an intact Boeing 727 jetliner in California's Mojave Desert and build a tunnel to give visitors a chance to see it.Christoph Buchel has applied for a permit that will allow him to bury the 153-foot-long decommissioned airliner.The Bakersfield Californian newspaper reports the project, called "Terminal," already has approval from the local planning department staff.The jetliner would be buried 38 feet below the surface.Visitors will be able to experience the subterranean art project via a tunnel connecting the plane to a parking area. And they'll be able to use the plane's restrooms, which will be connected to a septic system.


I find it strange what some people consider art in todays world. I mean, does this really qualify as a masterpiece, an example of human god given talent, I don't really think so. But it does bring back a rush of memories from a child hood event that shaped me into the person I am today. 


First, for some backstory. It was the spring time 1999, it was probably my 5th year in a row going on a class trip to this place called The Liberty Science Center. I'm not really sure how well known this place is or if it even still exists, so I'll expalin a little more about what it was. Basically it was a building that had crazy exhibits geared toward elementary school kids in it so every year we'd go on a trip there and do all kind sof crazy shit. The biggest attraction was this thing called "The Touch Tunnel". It was this maze-like series of tunnels that you would crawl through and you could only use your sense of touch to survive. It was made so that you felt blind. Side note- I don't even know how this was allowed! Would the blind not be offended by this discrimination? 


Anyway, when you are 10 years old there is no better way to weed out the pussies than to see who ends up crying and has to be yanked out one of the emergency side exits. However, on this day a crying child would have been much more appreciated to all. After waiting on line, I entered the touch tunnel behind my best friend at the time, DJ. In front of him was a kid in our class we will call "Mark". We made it about half way through, holding onto the feet of the person in front of you so you can all move in one fluid motion. "Mark" was crying pretty much the entire time. Now, you may call that a pussy, but I call that a warrior, as he was pushing on. Then it happened. "Mark" shit his shorts. Diarreah style. Which preceeded to run down his legs, wrapping itsself around the hands and forearms of my best friend. This story sounds bad as it is...but it gets worse. 


The smell filled the tunnel as student after student began screaming in horror. DJ began to projectile vomit all over the place. Usually when a kid freaks out, they open the side enterences, the kid crawls to it, and is pulled out. Unfortunately, Mark froze and could not be moved. So we had to wait for the three kids in front of us to continue before the conductor of the Touch Tunnel was able to reach the shit and vomit covered child and rip him out. Finally, after about 6 minutes in hell, we returned to the light. I was in okay shape, my friend was covered in shit up to his elbows and vomit. Needless to say, that was the schools last trip to the Liberty Science Center. 


Thankfully, this underground plane will have a fully working septic system and no one will have to go through the horrors I once endured. 

Jayson’s the ‘Moses of Rikers’

(N.Y. Post)

Jailed basketball star Jayson Williams has transformed himself into a churchgoing mentor to other prisoners at Rikers Island — earning him the nickname “The Moses of Rikers.” Christopher Hughes, who was incarcerated at Rikers for 100 days with the former New Jersey Net, tells us the baller is beloved by all behind bars with him, from crackheads to gangbangers. “People treat him like a star,” said Hughes, who was released from Rikers last week after serving time for reckless assault. “Every single person shakes his hand. He is like Moses, the Moses of Rikers.” Williams is completing a one-year sentence for DWI, after serving an 18-month term in a New Jersey prison for aggravated assault. He accidentally shot and killed a limo driver in 2002 at his New Jersey mansion.

To be completely honest with you, I was 90% sure Jayson Williams was already dead. I thought he got shived in prison, but I guess that's not the case. Apparently, he's the second coming who has followers in not only the crackhead community, but in gangbanger nation as well - and we all know how difficult of a task that could be. Whenever someone brings this guy up, I can't help but think about the episode of MTV Cribs where he was riding around his dope ass mansion in Jersey on a golf cart while shooting shit with his shotgun...Talk about foreshadowing...fuck. But listen, everyone deserves a second chance. And sometimes you fuck up that 2nd chance by getting hammered and falling asleep while driving. But at least he's found the lord and he's working towards that 3rd chance at redemption, one cracked out, gang banging, rapist murderer at a time.

P.S. This got me thinking, I wonder what kind of basketball team I could assemble consisting of only players who have spent time in the slammer. So here's what I got....

The All Convict Team

Point Guard- Allen Iverson- 17 Year career. Averaged over 26 points a game and almost 7 Asissts. Probably the biggest name on the list and was a huge star while I was growing up. Iverson was convicted and sentenced to 5 years for maiming in a crowd. His conviction was later overturned, but i give him an 'A' for effort. I especialy loved his explanation: "For me to be in a bowling alley where everybody in the whole place know who I am and be crackin' people upside the head with chairs and think nothin' gonna happen? That's crazy! And what kind of a man would I be to hit a girl in the head with a damn chair? I rather have 'em say I hit a man with a chair, not no damn woman." Well put A.I., well put.

Shooting Guard- Jalen Rose- 15 year career, averaged almost 15 points a game to go along with 4 boards and 4 assists. Was charged with D.W.I. and sentenced to 20 days in jail. While not the biggest offender on the last 20 days in a jail cell, for a millionaire, it probably feels alot closer to 90.













Small Forward- Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson- 11 year career, averaged over 20 points, as well as 6.5 rebounds per. This guy was a keeper. Was charged with with domestic battery, assault and illegal possession of a firearm to go along with a set of D.W.I.'s















Power Forward- Jayson Williams- Over his 9 year career averaged 8 points with 8 boards and a steal a game. Ah, the insperation, not only did this guy kill his driver and only get sentenced to 18 months in jail. He got smashed fell asleep, crashed his G Wagon and got sentenced to another year. This generation's O.J.
















Center- Shaquille O'Neal- Over a 19 year career, averaged a double double a game with 24 points per, to go along with 11 rebounds and 2.5 blocks. When you sit back and actually look at those numbers, you have to be impressed - they're redicuolus stats. There's no doubt about it, the Big Aristotle is the most dominant big man to play the game in the last 20 years. Even though he "technically" was never charged with any crime, let's be reaistic for a second. When you make  movie's like Kazaam and Steal, you should be drivin in your custom built superman limo, straight to the gas chamber. Those movies were absolute shit. And when you sprinkle in a little something called Shaq Fu, I would consider bringing back the electric chair. You're worst then Vick.


So to wrap things up, I'm pretty sold on this team having a serious shot to crack 60 wins, and would absolutly rape and pillage visiting cities. 


P.S. Shaq Fu was actually pretty awesome. But fuck you anyway, The Big Diesel.

Chiefs Matt Cassel helps woman escape house fire.

According to KMBC, "the quick actions of a Kansas City Chiefs player may have helped keep the homeowner from harm. … "Neighbors told KMBC 9 News that Cassel's wife first spotted the smoke and flames coming from the home's chimney. Cassel ran to his neighbor's house, rang the doorbell, pounded on the front door and started to circle the house until he saw the woman who lives there come outside." 


Well, this is kind of a refreshing story. We're so use to seeing Quarterbacks in todays game gaining notoriaty for doing shitty things like rape (Big Ben on mutliple hood rats), dog fighting rings (Vick), and more rape (Brady on just about every team in the league). When you read about a boarderline-back-up kind of saving someone from a fire, it must be a slow news day.  I mean listen, I give Cassel a round of applause, I guess, for stopping and getting out of his car. But really dude, next time call 911, lay on the horn a little bit, and go on your merry way.