The All Convict Team

Point Guard- Allen Iverson- 17 Year career. Averaged over 26 points a game and almost 7 Asissts. Probably the biggest name on the list and was a huge star while I was growing up. Iverson was convicted and sentenced to 5 years for maiming in a crowd. His conviction was later overturned, but i give him an 'A' for effort. I especialy loved his explanation: "For me to be in a bowling alley where everybody in the whole place know who I am and be crackin' people upside the head with chairs and think nothin' gonna happen? That's crazy! And what kind of a man would I be to hit a girl in the head with a damn chair? I rather have 'em say I hit a man with a chair, not no damn woman." Well put A.I., well put.

Shooting Guard- Jalen Rose- 15 year career, averaged almost 15 points a game to go along with 4 boards and 4 assists. Was charged with D.W.I. and sentenced to 20 days in jail. While not the biggest offender on the last 20 days in a jail cell, for a millionaire, it probably feels alot closer to 90.













Small Forward- Glenn "Big Dog" Robinson- 11 year career, averaged over 20 points, as well as 6.5 rebounds per. This guy was a keeper. Was charged with with domestic battery, assault and illegal possession of a firearm to go along with a set of D.W.I.'s















Power Forward- Jayson Williams- Over his 9 year career averaged 8 points with 8 boards and a steal a game. Ah, the insperation, not only did this guy kill his driver and only get sentenced to 18 months in jail. He got smashed fell asleep, crashed his G Wagon and got sentenced to another year. This generation's O.J.
















Center- Shaquille O'Neal- Over a 19 year career, averaged a double double a game with 24 points per, to go along with 11 rebounds and 2.5 blocks. When you sit back and actually look at those numbers, you have to be impressed - they're redicuolus stats. There's no doubt about it, the Big Aristotle is the most dominant big man to play the game in the last 20 years. Even though he "technically" was never charged with any crime, let's be reaistic for a second. When you make  movie's like Kazaam and Steal, you should be drivin in your custom built superman limo, straight to the gas chamber. Those movies were absolute shit. And when you sprinkle in a little something called Shaq Fu, I would consider bringing back the electric chair. You're worst then Vick.


So to wrap things up, I'm pretty sold on this team having a serious shot to crack 60 wins, and would absolutly rape and pillage visiting cities. 


P.S. Shaq Fu was actually pretty awesome. But fuck you anyway, The Big Diesel.